


What I Should've Done.

by orphan_account



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Post Death Cure, thomas grieving, thomas is thinking about the page that shall not be named, yeah basically im having feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2410049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas is thinking back to Newt, about what he did, what he should've done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Should've Done.

"Please Tommy, please."

Thomas closed his eyes. He closed his eyes and ran away. He didn't turn back, just pulled the trigger and ran. 

And he hated himself for it.

He had loved Newt, and still did, even now. Newt had always been his anchor. He had kept Thomas on his feet when the world around them began to shake.

Newt, with his laugh and his eyes and how his hair fell into his eyes, how he had nicknamed Thomas so quickly and easily, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Newt, the boy who managed to maintain order in chaos. Newt, the boy who deserved more than any of them to live.

Newt, who had been the one Thomas couldn't save. 

Thomas felt his chest rip apart as his memories slashed across his heart. Thomas should've died in his place, all he had ever done was bring the older boy misery and pain. Newt deserved to be happy, be safe, be  _alive._ He deserved more than he got, more than Thomas had done for him. 

Thomas had killed him. Thomas hadn't read his note when he should have. Thomas had left him lying in the road as the last of him bled out onto the ground. He had left him without a goodbye, without a farewell, without closure.

He should have stopped running, turned back to Newt. Given Newt a goodbye, a decent ending to his story; because if the boy had deserved anything he deserved that. He should have knelt beside him, closed Newt's eyes and said goodbye, so that Newt could finally have what he'd been craving for so long. Peace, freedom, rest. An end to all the suffering he had been put through. What Thomas had put him through.

There isn't a lot Thomas would die for, but he would be happy to die right now if it meant one more moment with Newt. To hear his laugh again, see his face, feel his arms holding all the pieces of Thomas together. Everything he had been, they had been, before the Flare, back when they believed they were safe. He wondered if he had loved Newt before the Glade. 

Thomas knew he would never forgive himself for what he had done to Newt, that the wound will always be fresh. He wanted to scream and cry out to Newt, but knew nothing he could do will bring him back, not even for a second. 

Newt deserved a chance, but what he got was a death sentence. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry it's short, it's one of my firsts. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thanks!!


End file.
